When we are in pain and experience suffering, we experience a feeling of loss. Usually, we attribute this to the partner or person that we have lost, however, this can lead us to focus our intentions and our progress on another rather than on ourselves. When we experience this suffering, it is often because we have lost ourselves. Losing yourself when you fall in love or take on new experiences can be something we accept during the process, however, when our reality changes or a person is no longer there, we feel a sense of loss that we attribute to the other person. We must acknowledge that our loss is also the loss of ourselves. Take this moment to make a dedication, to yourself. Its time to invest in radical self-love, something which can be tricky and for some seemingly undeserved. But this is your time to put back into yourself the love and the consideration that were previously being put into another. You deserve this love and you deserve this respect. Perhaps you could have more ‘me’ time, invest in doing something you love regularly, or start to plan for something that gets you excited about your future. Self-love and investing in yourself is the best space to heal with the focus completely and solely on yourself because it’s time for you to bring your attention back to your happiness and health. Now that you’re working on returning your attention to your self-love your needs, it’s time to work on forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself can be a very hard step because were are so caught up with the other person that we forget the weight we are carrying. In order to release it, we have to forgive ourselves for the experience as well as forgiving the other person. This can be a process of focusing away from what the other person did and taking ownership of what our part was. It’s hard when we are hurt to return the focus back onto our own accountability and forgive ourselves for the things we are not proud of. The experience could have come from a negative cycle of being involved with unhealthy people, or seeking to hide from our feelings by getting lost in others. This is your chance to face your cycles and behaviours that no longer serve you. Look at them, accept them and forgive yourself. Why not start by looking into a mirror and saying ‘I forgive myself for X’ - it is a very humbling and powerful experience. Mirrors allow us to really grasp the expression of forgiveness and provide an opportunity for us to seek something deeper then our physical body. Look deep into your own eyes and say ‘I FORGIVE MYSELF’. This can be a very vulnerable experience, but where does strength grow if not from holding space for ourselves to be vulnerable and to achieve incredible growth?  When I look at people who are truly confident, and I don’t mean from a sense of entitlement or ability, but people who just have that presence that sets them apart, I see people who have done the hard graft that is working on their growth - their self-love. Forgiveness and growth are a process that require intention and compassion for yourself and let’s start it now. It’s time to put your own oxygen mask on first!

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